I had the privilege of sharing an interesting debate about whether it is possible to change your thought processes, behaviour and thereby re-shape your personality and the key factor that we all agreed upon is to first acknowledge the problem, realise that it is there and following that, the determination to change. Oftentimes people will come to us and tell us that our behaviour, reaction, speech and attitude are a little out of line in their opinion, which is their prerogative to state how they feel. Have you ever been on the receiving end of this? How did you feel? Was your reaction defensive (explaining or blaming) perhaps it was dismissive (they don’t know what they are talking about or it doesn’t apply to me) maybe you took it very personally (subjective and pitiful). How do you take criticism? With a pinch of salt or heaps of sugar to make the medicine go down?

I think that acknowledgement is a very important step but I venture to say that this is not the core factor that will initiate change.  There has been so much input in your life through past experiences which have shaped your perceptions and therefore reactions to any given situation and we rarely take the time to delve into our psyche to find out who we have become. We tend to be reactive instead of proactive in our behaviour simply because we are not connected to our own personality traits. I state now that I believe that change is possible through a catalyst called self-knowledge. So we in essence become our own judge of what we like or dislike within ourselves. Once we define these, we can pick out which we choose to keep and which we choose to change or discard. We are then operating in a proactive manner, initiating change from within by CHOICE which in itself lends the conscious mind to be more open and accepting of the challenges we will face and the body does not pick up any tension either.

This is in perfect contrast to feeling picked on or criticised by others and deciding to change because you feel you HAVE to. When you feel you HAVE to, your body and mind automatically go into fight or flight mode, more adrenalin, higher blood pressure increased muscle tension.

Knowledge: All the information, facts, truths and principles learned throughout time

"Nothing we ever imagined is beyond our powers, only beyond our present self-knowledge” Theodore Roszak

Do you really know yourself? We all need to take time to do a little introspection every day. To realise that WE ALONE create our own destiny by the choices we make every day. We are where we are because of that - Take ownership of that fact. If you don't like certain aspects of your life because of the wrong decisions you have made in the past, then I say to you, start to know yourself. Once you know who you are, what is important to you, what motivates you and what you want to achieve, the decisions you make henceforth, will come from an informed perspective.

The road to self-discovery is sometimes unpleasant. There will be some things you don't like about yourself and to accept that they are a part of you is difficult. The secret is that once you acknowledge their existence, you can change them if you want to. Remember not to blame the bad trait on anything else though (I cannot get myself up in the morning, because I'm like my father -or- I can’t help it if I have a temper, it must come from my mother’s side of the family -or- I can’t make myself do anything I don't want to do because nobody motivates or stands by me)

The road to self-discovery is also surprising. You will find hidden talents, perseverance where you thought there was none, mental strength beyond what you imagined, self-discipline hiding under a low self-esteem, intelligence in a sphere you were not aware of, motivation right inside of yourself, time management becomes an easy task.

How well do you really know yourself?

Ask yourself a few of these questions and make your decision on the results. Interview yourself and see if you are worthy of being your own best friend.

Who do you see when you look in the mirror every morning? Is it someone you know and like? Or do you look away quickly, not really wanting to acknowledge that person who is looking back at you?

Do you know what you want from life? Or do you blame all you are on your upbringing and parents?

Do you know what you like and dislike? Or do you just go through life accepting everything at face value, never questioning and therefore never understanding?

Do you know what kind of life you want to lead and are you leading it?  Or do you just ride the waves, bobbing up and down letting the world pass you by?

Do you know what you are capable of doing? Or do you wait for approval of others before taking a step?

Are you aware of your faults and are you accepting of them? Or do you refuse to even think of them?

Are you able to change things in your life and your attitude if you want to? Or do you just procrastinate and say "under the circumstances......"

It is good to know yourself. Knowledge is power. Knowing yourself is having the power to change your life.

 


Comments

11/12/2013 04:35

Dear Judy

Thank you so much for your thought provoking article .You know I am and have been in such a bad rut man its sometimes difficult .I know what to do but somhow or another procrastination sets in and draws your inner strength .Your article has given me a glimpse at being great again at being unselfish and unleashing my inner strength to accomplish the sometimes impossible .Just before seeing your article i felt drained but i know i can and i will make a difference in my familys life .

Stay Blessed Imraan

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Patricia
11/14/2013 09:23

Hi Judy
Loved your artical makes one think and ponder on thngs in life that we overlook. Thank you so much I benefitted from your aticle

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04/07/2014 22:28

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04/12/2014 04:58

l like it.

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