Regret: To feel sadness about something or feel a sense of loss and longing for somebody or something that is no longer there

Interactions I had with a certain person made me look inside myself and re-evaluate my own outlook on life as I did some serious introspection of my own. The conversation began on the subject of fear and after much deliberation, I settled on the concept of regret.

“When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us”. Alexander Graham Bell

We all have our own cauldrons filled with fear derived from our past, our imaginations, others failings and mistakes and we all think twice before venturing down the perceived same path. Let’s call these mind-sets ‘maps’. We plotted these maps when we were at those particular points in our lives. What we all fail to remember is that life is forever changing, mutating and flowing, but do we update those maps with all the new information that is at our fingertips right now? Are we still using the old map to plot our futures? Have we not all experienced journeys over mountains and through valleys in our walk through life? Shouldn’t we re-evaluate how much we have overcome, how much we have grown and learned and give ourselves far more credit than we do – a huge pat on the back, so to speak? Should we not all be updating our maps with the information we have today? We pull back; we hide behind facades in order to protect ourselves from hurt and disappointments! Why do we allow ourselves to shut out the world…. Are we basing our outlook and perceptions on outdated maps?

But what if life presents us with a situation or opportunity and we don’t seize it with both hands just because we are living in fear? I believe (and you have every right to disagree with me here) that the lessons we need to learn will keep knocking until we open that door, let down our guard and graciously invite the teacher in to hear what she has to say! If we don’t seize the opportunity perhaps we will regret it for the rest of our lives. The ‘I should have’ the ‘if only’ and the ‘what if I’ questions will always remain unanswered. However, if we take the chance, jump off the cliff at least we can say without regret - ‘I did it! I experienced the moment and I'm glad I did’ – whatever the eventual outcome might be. Because if we don’t are we not robbing ourselves of potential joy, happiness, peace, growth and life experience? Will you regret the chance you had but never took? Will you look regretfully upon the closed door because you did not see the one which was open for you to walk through?

This weekend I wish for you to seize the opportunity, open that door wide, look beyond your fears and see the wonderful world that is on the other side of your secret garden. I'm not saying it will be an easy thing for you do – it takes courage to quell the fears that you have carried with you for so long. This I do promise you though, you shall not regret it in the least


07/01/2014 03:20

As a 35 year old woman who has a past of unhealthy relationship, it still is difficult for me to move on, I fear that I will get hurt as a result I hurt someone first or I just get myself involved in toxicated relationships coz of my fears and regrets, this is a very inspirational article, I happen to read this article when I have already told myself that I have to let go of the past and open myself to new possibilities, as much as its not easy but we have to try.

looking forward to read more of your inspiring articles.

08/05/2014 06:54

I am a 32 year old woman stuck in the middle of making one of the most difficult decisions of letting go and in fear of being a single parent to my son. Now I know after reading this article if he does not want to work on us by letting go of past fears from previous relationships and going for counseling. I know I can still make it and raise my son. I just have to let go of the fear and move on, God has a plan for everyone. It will not be easy that I can imagine but I will make it.

Noku Katom
10/07/2014 02:38

Hi Thandi

Its okay to be a single parent, there is nothing wrong about you or about being a single parent than to be in a relationship that is killing you emotionally. I am telling you this becasue I am one, by the way I am running Organisation for Single Parents

09/13/2014 02:07

This is a great inspiring post. I am pretty much pleased with your good work. You put really very helpful information. I am looking to reading your next post.

09/14/2014 05:06

I bookmark your website and will come back in the future.


I am very much pleased with the contents you have mentioned.I wanted to thank you for this great article. I enjoyed everylittle bit part of it and I will be waiting for the new updates.

05/31/2015 17:38

No regrets, just lessons learned. This is a truism I try to live by. I said try because it is not easy. We spend precious moments of our life thinking of "I should have done this" "I shouldn't have done that" that we fail or ignore the fact that what we did or said is done and over it. We cannot change the outcome - whatever it is. Get over it, maybe make the necessary amends to people you've inadvertently hurt - and learn from it and don't make the same mistake twice.


Leave a Reply